Boo Again...

Pripyat, Ukraine

Boo....

Kadykchan, Russia

 

 

The Story of My Life in words of The Ghost and the Navigator

Take my heart and set it free, carried forward by the waves
Nowhere left to run, navigator's son,
Chasing rainbows all my days

Where I go I do not know, I only know the place I've been
Dreams they come and go, ever shall be so,
Nothing's real until you feel

Why?

Why do I not slip into nothingness?

Why do I wish, when I ought not to?
Why did I speak when I shouldn't have?
Why this silence now, when its not a weakness but a resolve?
Why do I ought to prove, when I really don't want to?

Why do I have debauchery on my mind, when I look so nice?
Why do I reflect as a leech, when I am but the host?
Why am I not hungry now?
Why do I feel I got a raw deal?

And again...  Why do I not slip into nothingness?

The Plan

Plan for the future.. Plan for the future.. Age is catching up with you.. This is what I hear almost always.. I have a plan too? To stay in the moment.. 'Cause my future depends on my present and not the other way round............

"YOUTH"

Every media house, every newspaper is talking about one thing. The role of youth (no you are not one; apparently only those voting for the first time are the "youth") in swinging the polls and how every party would try to get the youth brigade on their own wagon.

But thats not how Indian "youth" works. Indian "youth" would at the end of day (the polling day that is) would not be swinging the polls (only the polls though). Any "youth" would vote as per the following (not complete or exhaustive but still pretty decent) list:
1. Who daddy is voting for? Thisworks pretty much anywhere in India where the head of family decides towards which party is the family inclined towards. This may work on a larger scale like the vote for caste system quite evident in the cow-belt states.
2. Which leader inspires me? Here instead of a party the votes fall for a leader (national face or otherwise). The "inspirational" leaders apparently are well-spread. This other dude tells me that this dude leader would bring change; I think I'll vote for that dude. Though am not too sure. That's another thing, the "youth" is like everything else pretty unsure of voting too.
3. The newspaper the youth reads. All the more fun if (s)he doesn't read and only watches news. This is a sub part of point no. 2. The "youth" gets easily influenced. (S)he hates the party in power, but then doesn't like the other party too. The "youth" is confused.

Apparently this is how any voter in India votes. So "youth" are really no exception. If voting population is increasing, the votes proportion would spread out evenly like they always do.  So "youth" or no "youth", your guess is as good as mine as to will capture the booth. And mine is generally pretty accurate.

"But tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun"

He runs towards the crowd to kill the voice inside
I watch him closely and wonder why?
Not his act but mine
For I want the outside voice to die

'Cause if I cant plug-in my earphones
Then its the music in my head
That saves me and kills
The music of life

So I wonder why he runs outside?
So that I am left alone?
Ah.. the outside dies....

"You mistake my choice not to feel as a reflection of my not caring, while I assure you the truth is precisely the opposite."
--Spock (Star Trek:Into the Darkness)

Hero

Everyone has Heroes. I don't have a Hero. So either I am yet to meet mine. Or, what is more probable is,  Heroes don't exist.

The reason why I find comfort in books is because I don't feel out of place in the author's thoughts, unlike reality

I don't think I hate you for hating me
I think I hate me for disliking me
For I seek pleasure in pain
How can I love me then?

There is no end to this love
Pain is such a seductress
I can't escape her claws
Pain the faithful lover

-- Written way back...

My Generation

My Generation is not Gen Y... My Generation is Gen Kya Farak Padta Hai. The one thing I hear for everything that's wrong.

If nothin makes no sense, then does it make any sense to make sense out of things?? Things do change till they make a circle.... Disillusionment may be a wake up call, but then reality seems more fictitious and fiction more real.

Disillusionment cant then be seen as a mere awakening or correction of ideas. When fiction is what you are fed on and your heroes - righteous, disillusionment is a mere word to describe imperfection.

He ain't Heavy, He's my Brother

CHOMU: "You have started liking Tom Petty 'cause you can't go heavier. That's why I listened to the whole of Beatles discography, when I did that. I found even Megadeth heavy then."
Me: "I can't go heavier. May be they all are right. I have grown old."

And they said "Knowledge never goes waste". Well I don't think so and with all the knowledge and expertise of all the worlds and Indian economists, oh look what a waste Indian economy is.

Corny Endings

Every corny beginning does not have a corny ending. But when there is a corny ending and more so when it has been a long time since the not so corny beginning, you do not know whom to kill. So this is a precautionary post, to help those who do not want to be there to do that. But then again, am I not killing the joy (yeah like shit) by letting you know what was the curiosity that killed the cat? I am sure some of you would like to be killed (and others would like to be cats).

The idea is simple, I tell you what not to watch or read till the ending and then you leave it mid way (or if you like not begin at all). This aint a comprehensive post and will have sequels (smaller ones then, longer one now).

So the list begins:
1. The Holy Mountain - The movie is great. And I must admit it is. I rated it 10 (out of 10 :-)). But what do you do, when a bunch of people are out there looking for the ultimate truth and you don't know how to end it (for then you will have to tell the ultimate truth). You just declare that you are in movie.. Corny!! Lame!!

2. Requiem for a Dream - Moral of this story? Everyone who dopes must either be amputated, or become mad or become a whore... WTF?? I dope.. Am I lame (and no the jokes dont count)? Am I mad (:-D).. Am I a whore?? Well yeah probably this is what happens to all dopees..

3. David Copperfield -Hi I am Charles Dickens. I have done writing 650 pages, and want to finish off my book in the next 50, else the publisher wouldn't publish me. So I kill off some off the characters, send more than half abroad. Oh I still have David and his girl friend who call each other brother and sister left in the book. I know lets get them married and lo here finishes the book.

4. Chetu's - One night - My second and last of Chetu's books.. CHETU!!! This is a good one (the ending of course) -  I tell my story to this stranger and don't know solutions to my problems. I get the solution because the stranger in a train is goddess.. CHETU I WILL KILL YOU!!!!

5. The Company of Women - The central character likes fucking. :-).. He fucks women :-).. He fucks a lot of women :-).. He fucks black women :-) He fucks Paki women :-) He fucks his wife :-) He fucks south Indian nurses :-) He fucks north Indian teachers :-) He fucks Goan masuess :-) He even fucks Sri Lankan diplomats :-) He fucks Marathi whores :-) Ooops the last one gives him AIDS.. End of story :-(

6. Delhi - This time the central character also likes history and he also like fucking. He fucks an eunuch in Red Fort :-( He fucks a firang old one :-( He fucks a firang, young one :-) He fucks an army officers wife :-) and in between all this he writes about a lot of fucking in history. Straight fuck :-) Gay fuck :-( Rape :-( and what not. And then he gets AIDS too.

I think I need to leave this here and go and fuck...

Then: It rains everywhere except in Delhi.
Now: It rains in Delhi too.

Its dark outside now... Inside I dont know.. Listening to Solitude by Sabbath... Does give that impression.. New discovery this song and I don't know whether this song was doomed to happen today to me??

Before I discovered this song, the song that meant most to me from Sabbath was probably Planet Caravan.. And I guess even Paranoid. Solitude and Planet Caravan are very similar to other songs by different bands.. Some songs that fall in these categories are Run of the Mill by Priest, Wearing the Inside Out and Marooned by Floyd... And well I dunno, cant recall any other right now..

They are dark songs.. They just generate this deep desire to just lose it all and keep falling into the bottomless pity of darkness... They are the Black Holes of all the music I have heard. They surely suck the life outta you... :-)

Black Sabbath - Solitude

Black Sabbath - Planet Caravan

Judas Priest - Run of the Mill

Pink Floyd - Wearing the Inside Out

Pink Floyd - Marooned

The Rolling Stones - Angie

I am just another case of arrested development.
I am just another wasted youth.

A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age....

--Meatloaf

True.. True..