The Story of My Life in words of The Ghost and the Navigator

Take my heart and set it free, carried forward by the waves
Nowhere left to run, navigator's son,
Chasing rainbows all my days

Where I go I do not know, I only know the place I've been
Dreams they come and go, ever shall be so,
Nothing's real until you feel

Why?

Why do I not slip into nothingness?

Why do I wish, when I ought not to?
Why did I speak when I shouldn't have?
Why this silence now, when its not a weakness but a resolve?
Why do I ought to prove, when I really don't want to?

Why do I have debauchery on my mind, when I look so nice?
Why do I reflect as a leech, when I am but the host?
Why am I not hungry now?
Why do I feel I got a raw deal?

And again...  Why do I not slip into nothingness?

The Plan

Plan for the future.. Plan for the future.. Age is catching up with you.. This is what I hear almost always.. I have a plan too? To stay in the moment.. 'Cause my future depends on my present and not the other way round............

He runs towards the crowd to kill the voice inside
I watch him closely and wonder why?
Not his act but mine
For I want the outside voice to die

'Cause if I cant plug-in my earphones
Then its the music in my head
That saves me and kills
The music of life

So I wonder why he runs outside?
So that I am left alone?
Ah.. the outside dies....

Hero

Everyone has Heroes. I don't have a Hero. So either I am yet to meet mine. Or, what is more probable is,  Heroes don't exist.

If nothin makes no sense, then does it make any sense to make sense out of things?? Things do change till they make a circle.... Disillusionment may be a wake up call, but then reality seems more fictitious and fiction more real.

Disillusionment cant then be seen as a mere awakening or correction of ideas. When fiction is what you are fed on and your heroes - righteous, disillusionment is a mere word to describe imperfection.

He ain't Heavy, He's my Brother

CHOMU: "You have started liking Tom Petty 'cause you can't go heavier. That's why I listened to the whole of Beatles discography, when I did that. I found even Megadeth heavy then."
Me: "I can't go heavier. May be they all are right. I have grown old."

Its dark outside now... Inside I dont know.. Listening to Solitude by Sabbath... Does give that impression.. New discovery this song and I don't know whether this song was doomed to happen today to me??

Before I discovered this song, the song that meant most to me from Sabbath was probably Planet Caravan.. And I guess even Paranoid. Solitude and Planet Caravan are very similar to other songs by different bands.. Some songs that fall in these categories are Run of the Mill by Priest, Wearing the Inside Out and Marooned by Floyd... And well I dunno, cant recall any other right now..

They are dark songs.. They just generate this deep desire to just lose it all and keep falling into the bottomless pity of darkness... They are the Black Holes of all the music I have heard. They surely suck the life outta you... :-)

Black Sabbath - Solitude

Black Sabbath - Planet Caravan

Judas Priest - Run of the Mill

Pink Floyd - Wearing the Inside Out

Pink Floyd - Marooned

The Rolling Stones - Angie

I am just another case of arrested development.
I am just another wasted youth.

A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age....

--Meatloaf

True.. True..

एक वोह भी समय था जब समय को तुम्हारे बारे में पता नहीं था,
एक यह भी समय है जब तुम्हारे साथ हूँ तो समय का पता नहीं चलता।
आगे का समय क्या लायेगा इसकी हमें फ़िक्र नहीं है,
हैरानी तो यह है की ऐसा भी समय था जब तुम हमारे ख्यालों में ना थे..

Baba

Black sheep of the Family???? Better smokin pot then.... Become a Baba.... Baba Black Sheep... \m/

That nursery rhyme wanted me to be a drug dealer..... me.... baba.... wool.... grass...... i the master..... u the dame..... n frank the junkie who will buy the junk will go down the drain.....

Hey Shorty

God - Too short a word, to answer all your prayers and solve all your problems.

Fuck - Too short a word to use it when your problems are not solved, and problems fuck your life

Life - Too short a word to get and live too.. Die young

Death - Too short a word to end it all.. But still its longer than life... 'cause it makes you fuckin wait

AIDS - Too short a word to make it all too short

Sex - Too short a word to get closest to God not AIDS fucker.. and enjoy too

Enjoy - Too short a word to do.. It ends before it started

Start - Too short a word... But longer than the End...

G - Got
O -Only
D - Dick..... to FUCK YOU............... Naaaah... You aint that important... You take me too seriously... Atleast someone did......

Shadow Puppets.....

A shadow whispered to me the other night
"How is it that you are here when nothing else is?" asked I
I thought darkness had found me the loneliness
No shadows to follow me too

"I'm not from now, I'm from the past.
Lurking on behind you,
Whispering to you when you cant see what hit you", whispered the shadow.

"How could I say when are you from, it is dark now as it was then.", whispered back I

"You can't get away from me.
I am a result of you then
Darkness only means its me all around..
Shadows of your past into a darkened future..."

"What you call a ray of hope
Is just a glimpse of me
That I am right there behind you
Waiting to pounce and darken it all again........."


"I will not run away from you", whispered I
"You are me, as I am you...
A reminder of what I should have changed...
Light will not put an end to you...
An end of me will..........."

Sea The Drop

Drop doesn't know it as yet...
It will be sea...
But drop also doesn't know that its a drop and there is a sea....
Would it believe me if I told it?

And the drops that knew...
Also would know when they are left behind....
When they could have been sea....
Forgotten... Missed... Alone... a mere drop....

But the drop who knows, doesn't know
The sea misses the drop which could have been the sea
Sea knows... Drop is the sea......
Shhhh... Drop it... Let the drop not know

Waking every morning to shit.
Where is the Sun, asked he
Looking down on the ground he moves
The routine he so despised now follows him
And it will till his pyre.

On the road less traveled he got lost
But he stayed on far too long
The tracks are covered now
He wants to turn back now
But there will be no one waiting for him at the crossroads.

Small is what he should have dreamt
Small is so big to dream about
He wants to unlearn now and be an ignorant fool
He searches for what he left, to find happiness
Can he find it now what he couldn't then?

He will make it back to the crossroads now
And choose not to choose
Sit down at the crossroads, his head hidden in his lap
Till his end comes and whispers in his ear
You no longer have to choose.

Who Me????????

"Back Again??", I asks me

"Did I miss me??", me enquires.

"Not really...."

"Did me miss I then??"

Me reciprocates. Me n I dont get along. Implying tht I n me too dont. Talkin like this I prove yet again tht am a wannabe. Notice here I accuses me. So should me retaliate??

"Have I changed??", I asked me...

"The lines on your palm change when you stay away for too long...", replied me...

"Would it mean I am luckier now... than what I was then??"

"It only means that the lines change but not the palm...."

"Me is still capable of the crap", said I.

"Me is I and I is me"

"Then who am I"

"Bungko... Thats wht the post was...."

Am I gonna stay on now?? or was it me??

I n me dont decide tht....

Puppet was the mask then....

And Puppet still stays on....

Just that the master has changed................

Man Down

Okay am not sure if I should be writing this addressing to an audience... Cause as hopeful as I am and well optimist too, I no longer have much of an audience... Just few comrades who well are faithful cause am too...

Anywho... I give a fuck (and want one too)... So yes... To the members in the audience...

Well the point is would you believe it?? Cause I can't.... The bug (or as the Bolly dolls call it the scorpion (bichua)) has left its sting... Things no longer are the same...

Sigh... Yup... As helpless as I was before.. Being the Puppet... DUH!!!! I now am hopelessly (and no the optimist shit doesn't work all well here....) helpless...

So well... Shock it was for someone... But places are no longer like "just another place" for the just another puppet... See the point is I can handle anything... :-D.. Smart am I not?? But :-Puppet has a blog to write and a verbal diarrhoea to maintain... Which is becoming increasingly difficult... So Puppet fights back and lands a punch...

So what you read now is a gutter war of words... And well all you get is shit... SHIT



I dont know why or what am I writing any more (although no change in stance there... Never knew)... But I now know what I am doing in life... Cause everythin seems to have a "meaning" (Can't resist this one... I got a new Oxford dictionary and just cant stop me from showing off... Though its a bit of a pain to carry it everywhere, especially the loo)... Its destiny she said...

Ma

Alright before you read this next shit, please play the video attached. Why you ask? My please wasn't good enough for you.. Eh?? For those from the inquisitive lot the answer is..

1. Retard, play it first. And then pause it, let it buffer up

2. I said please.

3. Because Ozzy (OZZY RULZ!!!)always knows what to say and how to say it best.

4. Well the reading I guess deserves a background score. I wish life too had one. Actually I wish life was a musical, everyone just breaking into a song on each and every occasion. But thats a separate issue to blog about.

So play the video and put the left ear plug in your left ear and right ear plug in the right and read on. Simpler still put on the speakers.

And well this is not an order, neither is this an advice, but just a suggestion (See constant critic i found a way of not advising people when they don't ask for it.. I suggest.. Words.. Their correct usage.. Sigh.. I am becoming a conformist...Aaaaaaarrrggh...)

Mama, I'm coming home.... Oh yea.. The shit doesn't end here... There is more below the video... READ IT... Now its an order.... READ IT...



Ma.. I need you.. Its just that whenever I need to sit with you and say nothing, because you understand my silences better than my words, you always make me do chores.. Sigh... I don't wanna do them...

May be you are right and I should listen to you more.. Even if it means binding myself in chains, not of my liking. And yeah, may be you are right, may be I shouldn't talk to strangers. You are scared for me more than I am for me. But we are.

I can tell this here because I know you will never read this. Partly because you are always misplacing your glasses when I need you to read something. But mostly because you don't know that such a space exists where your son scribbles.

See this way I can promise you something without you knowing about it. That way I hurt you less. See now I didn't promise you anything to break it.

What Mirrors Don't Tell

Hey you, Don't tell me that I matter
When I don't
Nothin I do would change
Nothin now, when there is no then.

How do I live in the present?
When I repent now what I did then?
And the repentance I will repent then
Nothin I can change now

How do I live in now?
When all I do will be tomorrow
And what I did yesterday am now
Not too good... Eh??

Am not the center of the universe
Accept that there ain't a universe
Him satisfied makes you happy
He satisfies you, to make him happy

May be there is an escape now
May be he opens the door where there is none
You walk through none
You trip on none, yet fall on your face

Do I take me anywhere from here?