Candle in the Storm

Sarfaroshi ki tamanna ab hamaare dil mein hai
Dekhna hai zor kitna baazu-e-qaatil mein hai

Karta nahin kyun doosra kuch baat-cheet
Dekhta hun main jise woh chup teri mehfil mein hai
Aye shaheed-e-mulk-o-millat main tere oopar nisaar
Ab teri himmat ka charcha ghair ki mehfil mein hai
Sarfaroshi ki tamanna ab hamaare dil mein hai

Waqt aanay dey bata denge tujhe aye aasman
Hum abhi se kya batayen kya hamare dil mein hai
Khainch kar layee hai sab ko qatl hone ki ummeed
Aashiqon ka aaj jumghat koocha-e-qaatil mein hai
Sarfaroshi ki tamanna ab hamaare dil mein hai

Hai liye hathiyaar dushman taak mein baitha udhar
Aur hum taiyyaar hain seena liye apna idhar
Khoon se khelenge holi gar vatan muskhil mein hai
Sarfaroshi ki tamanna ab hamaare dil mein hai

Haath jin mein ho junoon katt te nahi talvaar se
Sar jo uth jaate hain voh jhukte nahi lalkaar se
Aur bhadkega jo shola-sa humaare dil mein hai
Sarfaroshi ki tamanna ab hamaare dil mein hai

Hum to ghar se nikle hi the baandhkar sar pe kafan
Jaan hatheli par liye lo bhar chale hain ye qadam
Zindagi to apni mehmaan maut ki mehfil mein hai
Sarfaroshi ki tamanna ab hamaare dil mein hai

Yuun khadaa maqtal mein qaatil kah rahaa hai baar baar
Kya tamannaa-e-shahaadat bhi kisee ke dil mein hai
Dil mein tuufaanon ki toli aur nason mein inqilaab
Hosh dushman ke udaa denge humein roko na aaj
Duur reh paaye jo humse dam kahaan manzil mein hai

Sarfaroshi ki tamanna ab hamaare dil mein hai.
Dekhna hai zor kitna baazuay qaatil mein hai.

Whenever I go through these lines I am constantly reminded of the hundreds of martyrs who gave up their life for the independence of the country. The things that they did to get independence. When I talk of these martyrs then I talk of the ones who were not recognised for their effort and have been long forgotten. Theres a very famous quote probably by Ashfaqulla Khan. It says:

Shahidon ki mazaron per lageinge har baras mele,
Watan per mitne walon ka baaki namo nishan hoga,
Agar yeh samajh sake,
Toh samjhoge kyun maine hai kurban hona sikha,
Kyun maine hai kurban hona sikha.

These lines send a chill down my spine. I am actually appalled as to how noone cares about them any more. I share similar kind of sentiment as these martyrs and similar kind of love for my country. But its really sad to see people around me who couldn't care less. They are just worried about their salary and ways to increase it. But its not their fault as well. All of us have actually inherited freedom and have every right to take it for granted.

Me, how can I turn a blind eye to things that are so wrong. Corruption has infested every level of the infrastructure of our country. Who will free it from this cancer. No one is willing to move forward and try to make a difference. They all call the bureaucracy and politics a gutter but no one wants to clean it, simply denying the fact that somehow somewhere they themselves, all of us, are responsible for the state the country is in.

Its simply disheartening at times to move in a direction where no one accompanies you. But then I try to remember these martyrs and this encourages me that they(the martyrs) will always be there in spirit with me. I am actually encouraged by the extreme love that these people felt for the country, something that I have started feeling more and more as i try to move towards my goal.

Jai Hind!

Religious Perceptions

Well here is a conversation between me (Kapil) and Madman...Sorry for the irregularity in use of punctuation and proper grammar...as it has been taken up right from chat logs.

Madman: mornin kapil., do we get to the religious boundary now?

Me: well my thoughts on religion can well be explained by the quote::"Religion is for those who believe in hell and spritualism for those who have been there!!!"

Madman: nice quote.,in a way U hav shut me up.,but I aint gonna let tht happen.,U wnt do drugs cuz U promised someone makes complete sense.,its gud for ur health too.,but U get religion into this too..

Me: well not me.....had it not been for my mother i wouldn't have kept my hair as well.....well religion comes in b/w 'coz my mother believes in religion and its boundaries not me

Madman: ahaan.,so U do it cuz of her.,n U see the kinda risk Ur gettin urself into.,once U succumb .,U enhance the expectations.,but on the other hand U can have ur way from now on since U can claim that U do certain things for them.,I tried gettin into this trap but cudn.,so got a hair cut.,this route was easier for me..

Me: well sometimes the easier and convinient path is not always the best....well more than anything i have started believing in relationships that actually matter...i can and will do anything my parents ask me to do whether my personal beliefs are against the request is a separate thing all together.....i may decline the request if i feel strongly against it but then if by doing certain things one can actually make a person happy and i dont find anything totally offensive against it then i might as well do it.

Madman: Is this not an escapist route then?

Me: is it? I ask you by actually makin someone happy and smile makes me an escapist....let me put it this way....i believe that there is nothin purer than a relationship between a man and his mother....a mother would never seek something harmful for her children... i may not believe in religion but don't have anythin against it as well.... I believe it is good that religion is there to some extent it keeps a control over the animal called man.....Although it may at times provoke the animal as well when religion takes the face of riots but then my guess is that ppl need riots and wars to make them feel that they are alive.....and so they go and get it

Madman: escapist in the way., that even if Ur correct wit ur belief n thought process U readily change it.,I never understand the logic behind the same, but that is how most parents like to perform.,they love to compromise n try to force us for the same..another., the reason why I am being so straight forward in the talk is cuz I m assuming that Ur open to this conversation.,if at any point U feel offensive or confused lemme knw

Madman: well U have put forward ur point really well.,n wat U say abt a mother is true., she wont harm Us.,but the deal is she decides most things on the basis of her upbriniging.,.wat worked for her mite not work for U.,and as far as religion is concerned., i think it shud be by choice n not forced.,happiness is again a debatable issue.,the thing from wat I knw abt my father,he is way too religious.,n most religious tend to philosophize most other peopl on the basis on religion.,my father wud have talked a lot abt religion and at times maybe taunted some peopl in the society.,as n wen I grow up.,he starts feelin insecure.,in my age gropu of say 18 - 24 .,that I mite get a hair cut., start trimming my beard., n peopl mite start givin him the same bull shit ( religious lessons ) that he gave them.,sole idea of religion is make U a good human.,someone good in deeds n at heart., and to metruth and abiding by the truth is more important than praying every mornin.,U can take it this way .,i believe in religion., but i am against religions

Me: well my beliefs are somewhat opposite....what i feel is that parents expect their children to do things that they could't achieve themselves.....At another end there is a continuous feeling of keeping their children close to themselves.....somewhere in their hearts they know that all their beliefs in religion etc. are somewhat society bound. But at the same time they know this as well that anything or anyone against the society is generally crushed..... Being aware of all this they continuously feed their children of morals that are adherent to the society....this is all because of the love that they have for you....they are scared for you....all this is beautifully potrayed in the lyrics of the song "Mother" by Pink Floyd in their album "The Wall"

Madman: ahaan., interesting put forward again.,U in a way summarize the insecurities parents go thru..,and in a way brief their reasons behind their actions.,

Me: Well what ppl dont understand is that praying is not something to be done as they say "religiously" but the most important thing is to understnad what the person, who wrote the religious teachings actually meant and then try to remind yourself everyday of that and try to abide by that......And just for the record my parents had given me the choice of trimmin my beard but i didn't coz i knew in the end its not what they wanted.....my mother is somewhat way too religious but my dad is much like me....'coz he is more experienced and knows how to handle things tactfully n to make ppl bend in favour of his points in the end...

Madman: how do U decide as to wen our thinkin is inspired.,or is it always inspired?

Me: Well depends.....at times I feel it is inspired all the time by either your experiences or someone influential in your life...but then I guess all this in the end adds up to only your perceptions.....even to think that our thinking is inspired might just be a perception....perhaps a perception that the person who inspired you has a thinking so deep.....but never underestimate your brain...its the best and the worst thing you got, depending upon how you utilise it....but one thing is for sure, you think of one thing but then it depends upon you what direction do you give it......

Madman: interesting but no complete.,n the reason being.,U give me all possibilities.,n the problem here is to define authenticity.,wat U say can be summarised this way.,humans discover most of the things n not invent them

Me: somewhat...yea...in the beginning it is discovery but who knows in the end lies an invention